The Right Way to Pray
Follows the message Rooted in Prayer from the Rooted series
If you want to pray but aren't sure how, you're in good company. The disciples asked Jesus the same thing. The short answer: start with the prayers Scripture already gives you, then talk to God in your own words. Leave room to listen, and remember you never pray alone.
Key takeaways
- Jesus gave a pattern for prayer in the Lord's Prayer, but there is no formula you have to get exactly right.
- The goal of prayer is surrender, the place Jesus reached in Gethsemane when He prayed, "not my will, but yours be done."
- Silence matters in prayer because God often speaks quietly, and you can miss a whisper over constant noise.
- When you don't know what to say, you can pray Scripture, like the Shema and the Psalms, and the Holy Spirit intercedes for you.
Is there a right way to pray?
There is a pattern for prayer, and Jesus gave it to us. But there's no formula you have to get exactly right. Prayer is a real relationship with God, and honest words matter more than polished ones.
When the disciples said, "Lord, teach us to pray," it was a normal request. Rabbis often taught their students to pray a certain way. You could tell whose teaching people followed by how they prayed. Jesus answered with what we now call the Lord's Prayer.
This, then, is how you should pray: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
Matthew 6:9 to 10
Pastor Sean Sloan describes it as an outline as much as a script. Jesus prayed it word for word, and He also prayed its heart in His own words when He faced the cross.
What prayer did Jesus pray every day?
Jesus prayed the Shema. Every Hebrew child prayed it, usually twice a day, and Jesus would have grown up praying it.
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 6:4 to 5
A guest on the episode pointed out that in Hebrew, "hear" doesn't only mean listen. It means do. Her family uses this verse as their foundation. God's Word is on their hearts and minds, lived out every day. Jesus later called loving God this way the greatest commandment and added, love your neighbor as yourself.
The Shema is the daily Hebrew prayer of Deuteronomy 6:4 to 5, named for its first word, "hear." It is still a prayer you can pray today. The Lord our God is still one, and we are still called to love Him with everything we have.
What is the goal of prayer?
The goal of prayer is surrender: "not my will, but yours be done." Jesus didn't only teach that line. He lived it in Gethsemane.
"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."
Luke 22:42
Pastor Sean calls that surrender the end of all prayer, in a sense. It is the release of saying, "I'm Yours." We usually don't start there. We start with "please take this away" or "do it my way." Prayer is often the process that gets us to surrender.
That fits an old answer to an old question. The Westminster Shorter Catechism asks, "What is the chief end of man?" Its answer is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. If you exist for God's glory, then "your will be done" is where prayer naturally lands.
How do you pray when you're still waiting?
You pray from victory, not for victory. The timing may be uncertain, but the outcome isn't.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
For example, a weekend message at Calvary had everyone act out casting a fishing line, a picture of casting your cares on God. The guest said that the next morning she felt the urge to reel it back in. She chose to leave it cast.
Waiting can be hard when you're asking for healing or freedom from a struggle. Will it happen today, or in weeks, or months? Pastor Sean mentioned an idea from one of the church fathers. God's delay increases our desire, and our increased desire makes more room for Him to fill.
Why does silence matter in prayer?
Silence matters because God often speaks quietly, and you can't hear a whisper over noise. As the guest put it, He doesn't yell. Sometimes it's just a whisper.
Our world is full of noise. Many of us keep earbuds in from morning until we fall asleep. If prayer is only talking, you can miss what God is saying.
Pastor Sean connects this to the Sabbath. God gave the Sabbath for us. The Sabbath is a stop, a coming to the end of yourself so you can rest in God's time. You can practice small Sabbaths throughout the day, stopping long enough to pray and listen.
The guest shared an exercise from her studies. Spend 45 minutes in God's presence without asking Him for anything. It showed her how often prayer had become a checklist instead of simply being with Him. You come to be with God more than to get something from Him. If He is with you, you have what you need.
Do you need the right words?
No. There's no word count in prayer, and you don't need to repeat "Father God" in every sentence. You wouldn't talk to your spouse or friends that way. Just talk.
If you don't know what to say, pray the words you already have: the Lord's Prayer, the Shema, the Psalms. The Psalms were the prayer book Jesus grew up with. Praying Scripture back to God builds your faith. When you pray the church's prayers, you join God's people across the globe and across the centuries.
A simple way to start praying this week
- Pray the Lord's Prayer as written each morning until it feels natural.
- Pray the Shema once a day, and read one Psalm as a prayer.
- Bring your requests to God in your own words, with thanksgiving.
- Take out your earbuds and spend a few minutes in silence, listening.
- Once this week, spend time with God without asking Him for anything.
Are you praying alone?
You are never praying alone. Pastor Sean closes with this encouragement. You're not the only one praying for you. Jesus intercedes for you before the Father, and the Holy Spirit prays for you when you don't have words.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
Romans 8:26
You pray with the saints, with the Spirit, and to a God who hears.
Pray
Our Father in heaven, teach me to pray. Quiet the noise around me so I can hear You. When I don't know what to say, thank You that Your Spirit prays for me. Not my will, but Yours be done. Amen.
Common questions
Is there a right way to pray?
Jesus gave His disciples a pattern in the Lord's Prayer, and He lived its heart in Gethsemane: not my will, but yours. Beyond that, prayer is a real conversation with God, and honest words matter more than polished ones.
What is the Shema?
The Shema is the prayer from Deuteronomy 6:4 to 5: "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one." Jewish families prayed it daily, and Jesus called loving God with all your heart the greatest commandment.
What should I do when I don't know what to pray?
Start with written prayers like the Lord's Prayer, the Shema, and the Psalms until praying in your own words feels natural. Romans 8:26 also promises that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us when we don't know what to pray.
Why doesn't God answer my prayers right away?
The timing of an answer is often uncertain even when God's faithfulness is not. One church father taught that God's delay increases our desire, which makes more room for Him to fill, so waiting can deepen your prayer life.
Your next step
Prayer grows when you practice it with others. Find a group at Calvary where you can pray together, or explore your next steps.