Is Joy a Choice?
Follows the message Remember Your Joy from the A JoyFULL Life series
Is joy a choice? Yes, but it is not the same as choosing to be happy. Happiness rises and falls with our circumstances. Joy is a choice to answer God's grace with gratitude, and to lift our eyes from what we are going through to who God is and what He has done. That is how Paul could write the Bible's letter of joy, Philippians, from a Roman prison.
Key takeaways
- Happiness is circumstantial; joy is a choice to be grateful and see life from God's perspective.
- In Greek, grace (charis) and joy (chara) are connected words: joy is our response to the grace we have received.
- Choosing joy does not deny pain or sorrow. It gives us the strength to walk through them.
What is the difference between happiness and joy?
On this week's Beyond Sunday, Pastor Sean Sloan sat down with Ambre Thill, Calvary's Director of Women's Ministry, to go deeper on the opening message of A JoyFULL Life, our series in Philippians at Calvary Church of Naperville. Ambre answered the big question in two sentences: "Happiness is circumstantial. Joy is a choice."
Paul was not writing from comfort. He was in chains, and still he wrote about joy and contentment. "Any of us that are sitting in prison," Ambre said, "we can't even be content sitting in our living room."
Pastor Sean has watched two couples go through the very same loss and come out completely differently. The circumstance did not change; how they chose to see it did. "I don't have to be happy to choose to be grateful," he said.
How did one family choose gratitude in grief?
Ambre shared what happened when her mother was dying. For seven weeks, her dad chose gratitude every day. It was not easy, but he decided he would be grateful for the 60 years he had with her. Family members who did not know Jesus were angry, and his response, "Let's be grateful," changed how they walked through it. His hope was in Jesus, knowing he would see her again.
She was honest that she has not always chosen joy herself. During their daughter's ten-year illness, she let herself stop experiencing joy. Today her daughter is doing well, and Ambre looks back on that season and sees she "was just looking at circumstances, not in the big picture."
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
John 16:33
How are grace and joy connected?
Paul opens and closes Philippians with the same word.
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:2
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.
Philippians 4:23
The Greek word for grace, charis, means favor, a gift we do not deserve and cannot get on our own. Pastor Sean explained that it is connected to chara, joy: joy is the response to grace. He recalled Pastor Marty Sloan's point from Sunday: if you feel no one has ever been good to you, Jesus has been far better to you than anything you deserve.
Paul even calls the Philippians' care for him a share in that grace (Philippians 1:7). In a first century prison, Pastor Sean noted, if your friends did not bring you food, you did not eat. Their gifts were God's grace to Paul, and he answered with thanks to them and to God. "We're not talking about choosing to be happy," Pastor Sean said. "We're talking about choosing to be grateful and to have a different perspective."
Does choosing joy mean ignoring the pain?
No. "God never promised us happiness," Ambre said. "But we're called to be obedient." Scripture tells us to "give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:18), and Ambre was clear that this does not mean there will be no pain or sorrow. Choosing joy helps us get through them because it shifts our minds to what matters most.
Paul saw himself as Christ's prisoner, not Rome's. If God is in control, God is good, and He who began a good work will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6), then we can rejoice even while the story is still being written.
If circumstances decide our joy, Pastor Sean said, we will always be disappointed, because something else is always coming. "If you're on the mountain, guess what's coming? A valley." Even Jesus did not enjoy the cross, yet "for the joy set before him he endured the cross" (Hebrews 12:2).
"Happiness doesn't give you the power to endure because it changes with the moments that change," he said. "Joy can give you power because it sustains in every moment." Ambre closed with a line she once read: joy is not a perfect life, but confidence in a faithful Savior.
Try this week
- Read Philippians 1 and underline every mention of joy, grace, and thanks.
- Ask God in your current struggle, "What do You want to teach me through this?"
Pray
Jesus, You have been better to me than anything I deserve. When my circumstances shake me, lift my eyes to You. Teach me to choose gratitude, to trust that You are still writing my story, and to find joy in You. Amen.
Common questions
Is joy the same as happiness?
No. Happiness depends on circumstances and changes when they change. Joy is a choice to respond to God's grace with gratitude, so it can last through hard seasons.
How could Paul write about joy from prison?
Paul saw his chains as part of God's plan and trusted that God would finish the good work He had begun (Philippians 1:6). He also thanked God for the friends whose care was God's grace to him.
Does choosing joy mean pretending I am not hurting?
No. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 calls us to give thanks in all circumstances, which does not mean there is no pain or sorrow. Choosing joy gives us strength to walk through the pain with God.
Your next step
Read the message this conversation builds on, Remember Your Joy. If you are walking through grief or a hard season, our care team would be glad to walk with you. Women looking for friends to grow with can connect through Women's Ministry, which Ambre leads.