Knowing About Jesus or Knowing Him: What It Means to Be Born Again in John 3

You can know the Bible stories, sing every worship song, and attend church for years, and still wonder whether you know Jesus personally. That was the situation of Nicodemus in John 3, a respected religious teacher whom Jesus told he must be born again. Being born again means the Holy Spirit gives you new life when you trust Jesus as Lord. That new life gradually changes how you live every day of the week.

Can you know about Jesus and still not know Him?

Yes. You can have plenty of information about Jesus and no personal relationship with Him at all. Pastor Sean Sloan illustrated the difference with a question for a Chicagoland congregation: how many of you know Michael Jordan?

For example, you might own his shoes, remember watching him play, or have eaten at his steakhouse downtown. But would he recognize you if you walked past him on the street? You know about Michael Jordan, but you probably don't know Michael Jordan. As Pastor Sean put it, "There's a difference between being a fan and being a friend."

The same gap can exist between a person and Jesus. Every one of us will eventually stand before Him face to face. He won't ask how many services you attended or how many chapters you read. He will want to know whether your name is written in the Lamb's book of life.

Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Matthew 7:22 to 23

Who was Nicodemus?

Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a member of the Jewish ruling council, someone who studied and taught the Scriptures professionally. Jesus called him "Israel's teacher," a title that identified him as one of the most influential religious leaders of his generation.

Nicodemus took religion seriously. He fasted regularly, prayed faithfully, and gave generously. He even acknowledged that Jesus was a teacher sent from God, since nobody could perform such miraculous signs otherwise. Still, Jesus told him something essential was missing.

Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.

John 3:3

Nicodemus respected Jesus as a good rabbi, but he hadn't yet received Him as Lord and God. Pastor Sean summarized the danger simply: "You can recognize the truth and still resist surrendering to the truth."

What does it mean to be born again?

Being born again is the spiritual birth the Holy Spirit gives when you believe in Jesus and surrender to Him. Nicodemus initially understood the phrase physically, wondering how an older man could possibly return to his mother's womb.

Jesus explained that your physical birth brought you into the natural world, while a second birth by the Spirit brings you into the kingdom of God. "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit" (John 3:6). Only the breath of God can produce that kind of life, which Scripture describes as full and abundant.

Jesus then pointed Nicodemus toward a familiar story from Numbers 21. Moses lifted up a bronze snake in the wilderness, and everyone who looked at it lived. Jesus said He would be lifted up in a similar way, which sets up the most famous verse in the Bible.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

Notice that John 3:16 begins with the word "For." It explains the previous sentence: the Son of Man would be lifted up on a cross so that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.

Can I earn new life by trying harder?

No. New birth comes first and new behavior follows, and the order never reverses. Pastor Sean stated it plainly: "Good people don't go to heaven. Born again people go to heaven."

Many of us have been conditioned to perform, achieve, and earn everything we receive. Educational degrees, family pedigrees, and political connections do not impress the Savior of the world. Your sin carries a price you could never pay, and Jesus paid it completely on your behalf. Salvation is a free gift that you cannot earn but can absolutely accept.

That doesn't make spiritual effort pointless. Pastor Sean, drawing on Dallas Willard, explained it this way: "Faith isn't opposed to effort. It's opposed to earning."

How do you know your faith is real?

Genuine faith produces fruit. Throughout Scripture, faith and faithfulness belong together, so if you truly believe in Jesus, it will eventually show in the way you live.

Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?

Luke 6:46

Nicodemus came to Jesus at night, probably to avoid being seen by the other religious leaders. Pastor Sean described the nightlife Christian as someone curious enough to approach Jesus privately but not ready to be publicly identified as His follower.

For example, a nightlife Christian's neighbors may not know they follow Jesus. Their conversation at work or at the gym sounds like everyone else's, and they respond to rush hour traffic exactly the way everyone else does.

But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

John 3:21

Following Jesus is meant to transform your entire week, from Monday through Saturday. Take an honest inventory of your life. Do you see the works of the flesh, or the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and faithfulness?

Does Jesus still want people who grew up in church?

Yes. Jesus came for the outsider, and He came for the insider too. Throughout John 3, He speaks to Nicodemus with patience and kindness. If you've been going through religious motions, God still loves you, and today can be the day something changes on the inside.

Nicodemus eventually did change. In John 7, he defended Jesus in front of the ruling council. After the crucifixion, he helped prepare Jesus' body for burial. The man who originally came at night ended up standing with Jesus publicly.

Common questions

What does "born again" mean in the Bible?

In John 3, Jesus uses "born again" for the spiritual birth the Holy Spirit gives when a person believes in Him. Your natural birth brings you into this world, and new birth by the Spirit brings you into the kingdom of God.

Who was Nicodemus in John 3?

Nicodemus was a Pharisee, a member of the Jewish ruling council, and a leading teacher of Israel. He came to Jesus at night with questions. Later, in John 7 and John 19, he defended Jesus and helped bury Him.

Can you be a good person and still not be saved?

Yes. Being good, religious, or educated does not save anyone. Salvation is a free gift from God, received by believing in Jesus, who paid the price for your sin on the cross.

How do I know if my faith is real?

Real faith shows itself in a changed life. Jesus asked why people call Him Lord and don't do what He says (Luke 6:46). Look for the fruit of the Spirit growing in you and a life lived in the light all week long.