A Spark in the Darkness
A testimony by Adanné Willis
I grew up in a large family. I had 11 brothers and sisters. My dad was a pastor for a number of years, and my mom was a nurse. We lived a very secluded life. We were homeschooled and didn’t have contact with extended family, neighbors or anyone outside the home.
Due to my upbringing, my understanding of God was steeped in legalism and the idea that if you did all the right things, then you were set apart from the world and you were good enough for God and heaven. Although we did all these things to maintain this outward expression of Christ-likeness, our home was falling apart. My dad struggled continuously with mental illness which made home life unsteady.
Due to accusations of abuse, me and my siblings couldn’t stay in the home, so my mom made the difficult decision to leave my dad in order to maintain custody of me and my siblings. We struggled a lot financially, but things got more difficult once my parents were divorced. We were between homes and lived with friends, and then eventually, a family member.
Due to my upbringing, my understanding of God was steeped in legalism and the idea that if you did all the right things, then you were set apart from the world and you were good enough for God and heaven. Although we did all these things to maintain this outward expression of Christ-likeness, our home was falling apart. My dad struggled continuously with mental illness which made home life unsteady.
Due to accusations of abuse, me and my siblings couldn’t stay in the home, so my mom made the difficult decision to leave my dad in order to maintain custody of me and my siblings. We struggled a lot financially, but things got more difficult once my parents were divorced. We were between homes and lived with friends, and then eventually, a family member.
By this point, many things had changed; I was now attending public high school and had access to things I didn’t have access to before. During my junior year of high school, I started leaving home and found myself seeking validation in the wrong places. At 18, I started dating a 36-year-old and eventually found myself completely separated from my family while living on the streets of Chicago.
Although I accepted Jesus in my earlier years and grew up worshiping God, I didn’t understand God wanted a personal relationship with me. He wanted me to know Him on a deep level separate from doing all the right things. Because I believed faith was about “doing,” in many ways, I abandoned my faith since I knew the things I was doing weren’t pleasing to God.
I eventually found myself in the car of a pimp being offered a couple bucks in exchange for my body. I wondered how I ended up there. After witnessing so much violence and experiencing so much fear, I began to pray. I would ask God to take me to a better place. I would ask God to keep me safe. And He did.
Throughout my life, I’ve watched God protect me and keep me safe from harm. There were many times where there was no way, and yet, God made a way. I remember trying to get into a shelter and being unable to enter because I didn’t have ID. An officer saw me and, because I reminded him of his daughter, he fought for me to sleep inside. No matter how many times he was told I couldn’t stay, he fought until I had a place to lay my head. Moments like these remind me of the faithfulness of God.
In 2020, the world completely shut down, and I was able to get back in contact with my mother who offered me to live with her. I moved back to Aurora, attended her church for a few years, and was eventually led to Calvary where I’ve been ever since.
God used my darkest moments to spark a desire to know Him deeply. He began a relationship not based on works, but on forgiveness and acceptance. As a result of my trials, I learned that God sees me and has been with me from the very beginning. Although society might see me as damaged, God sees me as His prized possession. He was with me in my darkest moments. He knew all the ways I would turn against Him, and He still called me into a loving relationship.
Although I accepted Jesus in my earlier years and grew up worshiping God, I didn’t understand God wanted a personal relationship with me. He wanted me to know Him on a deep level separate from doing all the right things. Because I believed faith was about “doing,” in many ways, I abandoned my faith since I knew the things I was doing weren’t pleasing to God.
I eventually found myself in the car of a pimp being offered a couple bucks in exchange for my body. I wondered how I ended up there. After witnessing so much violence and experiencing so much fear, I began to pray. I would ask God to take me to a better place. I would ask God to keep me safe. And He did.
Throughout my life, I’ve watched God protect me and keep me safe from harm. There were many times where there was no way, and yet, God made a way. I remember trying to get into a shelter and being unable to enter because I didn’t have ID. An officer saw me and, because I reminded him of his daughter, he fought for me to sleep inside. No matter how many times he was told I couldn’t stay, he fought until I had a place to lay my head. Moments like these remind me of the faithfulness of God.
In 2020, the world completely shut down, and I was able to get back in contact with my mother who offered me to live with her. I moved back to Aurora, attended her church for a few years, and was eventually led to Calvary where I’ve been ever since.
God used my darkest moments to spark a desire to know Him deeply. He began a relationship not based on works, but on forgiveness and acceptance. As a result of my trials, I learned that God sees me and has been with me from the very beginning. Although society might see me as damaged, God sees me as His prized possession. He was with me in my darkest moments. He knew all the ways I would turn against Him, and He still called me into a loving relationship.